


Better With You

by Darling_Dixon08, Supernatural_Carisi08 (Darling_Dixon08)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-20 22:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21064199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darling_Dixon08/pseuds/Darling_Dixon08, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darling_Dixon08/pseuds/Supernatural_Carisi08
Summary: Sonny makes you a better person.





	Better With You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song -I like me Better by Lauv

I woke up just as the sun began to rise. I turned over and saw the bare back of a light haired man. I look around and know it's not his apartment. I went home with someone last night who wasn't Sonny. We decided to slow things down and take a break. Something happened at work that he refused to open up about. We've only been together for around 4 months but I wished he trusted me enough to open up. Hearing him say he wanted to slow things down hurt, but I wasn't going to wait around for him to decide I'm worth keeping around. That's never been me. Just as I finish getting my shoes on, the man rolls around "hey baby, where you goin'?" He grumbles.

I put on a fake smile and say "I have a long ride back home, was just going to get a head start." I lie, my apartment only a few blocks away.

He rubs his eyes and sits up "well, why don't you stay for some coffee. I'll walk you to the bus or subway or whatever."

I shake my head "nah, I should get going." I stand, moving to grab my purse off the floor where I tossed it the night before.

"Well, last night was fun. We should do it again sometime." He calls to me as I get to the door.

I turn and smile "we should! Call me and we'll hook up."

"I need your number" He returns loudly.

I lie again "I put it in your phone last night, dummy." I roll my eyes playfully and smile "bye" I wave and quickly leave his bedroom to get out before he catches on. Once on the street I exhale heavily. There was no way I was going to burn through my morning by having coffee with someone I'll never talk to again. I didn't give him my number, hell I don't even remember his name. I get a taxi and head home. When I get home I go straight to my bathroom. I look myself over and feel disgusting. This was how I used to run my life before I got together with Sonny. It was fun then, no commitments, no feelings, just living a great life in the city. If a guy broke up with me, it was on to the next one. No problem. So why am I so disgusted with myself right now? My eyes just stare at the stranger now in front of me and I have no answers to give myself. I slink out of the clothes from the night before and hop into the shower. When I come back out, I use my hand and wipe the steam off the mirror. I eye myself again, knowing now what I'm feeling. I like myself better when I'm with Sonny. I'm actually happy about my life when I'm with him and I feel like a real person. I didn't need to sleep with him to get him to like me, I didn't have to dress up for him to notice me. He simply liked me, for me and I never tried to be anything more for him. It was simpler then all the other relationships I've been in, it was perfect.

I find my phone, as I'm still wrapped in a towel and scroll down to Sonny's name. I send him a text "hey, we should get dinner next time you're available. I'd like to talk to you about somethings."

I know he's already at work and I place my phone back on the charger as I move to get dressed. When I'm done, I have a response from him "hey there. Dinner sounds nice, but why don't you come over tomorrow and I'll cook us up something."

"I don't want to put you out" I respond.

"Nonsense. Come over around 6?" He sends back instantly that time.

"Sure, see you then." I answer. I didn't know if he'd be okay with seeing me. I haven't talked to him since we broke up 3 weeks ago but I'm happy he's okay with me coming over.

The next night, I knock on his apartment door promptly at 6 and wait eagerly for him to open it. When he does everything I've felt while we were together came flooding back. But so did the emotions I have about myself since yesterday, since we broke up really. "Hey, doll." He smiles happily, leaning down to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Of course he's being super nice, I bet he's friends with all of his ex's" I think to myself. "Hey" I simply answer, accepting his gesture.

He ushers me in and asks "how are you? You look beautiful, as usual."

"Thanks, and I'm fine. How are you? Things better at work?" I ask, knowing something happened so many weeks ago.

He adjusts just slightly but catches himself before letting me see more "works is better, thank you for asking. Dinner will be ready in about 20 minutes. Can I get you a glass of wine or something else to drink?" He asks.

I shake my head "no, actually. Can we talk now? I really want to say what I have to say now before I chicken out." I ask and then tell him.

His head tilts to the side a bit, maybe concerned or confused with the way I'm acting. But he agrees either way and tells me to head to his living room, he'd join me as soon as he's done putting a timer on. When he comes back in, he sits down on the same couch and says "what's going on?"

"Alright, well. I just wanted to tell you somethings." I start off, not even sure how to explain to him what I want to say. He waits patiently for me to go on and I just shake my head and say "I like me better when I'm with you, Sonny. I feel like a real human when I'm around you, like I can offer more to the world then just going out, hooking up and drinking. I didn't even know I felt so empty before until just yesterday. I used to think I lived the best life before but I was just trying to fill an emptiness inside of me."

He listens to everything I say, nodding when he feels he should. When I'm done, he says "I'm sure there's more to it then just me."

I shake my head as he says that "no, it's you."  
I assure. "I've known it from the moment I met you. I just have a feeling when I'm with you. That first night we had together" I mention, the both of us blushing "afterward, we spent the entire Sunday in bed just talking. I don't do that. Like ever. I'm usually out before the guy wakes up. But I didn't want that with you. I just wanted to stay all day next to you and talk."

We sit silent for a few minutes, until he says "so, why are you telling me this?"

"Because I don't want to let you go and not see you again without knowing why we broke up. Things were going so well with us, why just end it? Was it all just one sided? Am I that naive?" I question, feeling stupid and young.

There's an age difference between us, 11 years, but I thought I always understood him. I thought we always had a connection. He shakes his head "of course not, I've actually never fell so hard so fast before."

"Then why break up?" I question, the pit in my stomach growing and my heart sinking into it.

He sighs, then rubs his neck but but then he opens his mouth to speak. Except the timer goes off for the food and he holds up a finger "one minute, I'll be right back!" He promises. He stands and leaves the room. He returns within the minute and sits closer to me "honestly, I love you. And that scared the crap out of me."

My heart skips, hearing that he loved me but my mind still has so many questions "why then?" I barely get out above a whisper.

"Because you're young, and I don't want to be the reason you regret the choices you made so you could be with me." He tries to explain simply.

I shake my head, not sure where any of this was coming from "what choices are you talking about? My life's nothing if not mediocre without you in it."

This time he shakes his head "no. That's not true. You have this shine, this power about you. You light up a room just walking into it. Everyone gravitates to you when your speaking. You have so much going for you and I couldn't ask you to give that up to be with me."

"Dominick, I'm only that way because of you." I return, knowing it's me being with him that makes me that way.

He puts a hand on mine as it rests in my lap and I stare at it. His thumb rubs over my knuckles "honestly, I feel like you deserve someone more than me."

I whisper back "no one else can make me feel as good as when I'm with you." He nods, and we keep our gaze on one another's. I add on "I don't want to be with anyone else, just you."

He nods then leans in closer to me "me either" he admits, then pushes his soft lips to mine and kisses me for just a second. He puts his head on my forehead and whispers "I love you."

A tear escapes my eyes, not expecting to come here and hear him say that to me "I love you, too." I respond, truly knowing I do.

He kisses me again before standing up to take my hand "lets have dinner."


End file.
